For centuries vetiver has been used in India both as an aromatic plant and for medicinal purposes, and as a plant used for soil conservation. The scented roots are used directly in the making of mats, baskets, fans, bags, curtains, etc., or indirectly by extraction for the distillation of the essential oil. From India the vetiver spread throughout the Tropics. One particular impetus for the spreading of the plant proved to be the Colonial Period, during which it spread both as an aromatic plant and as a hedge plant. After the Second World War and the subsequent end of colonialism, vetiver declined in importance in many countries.
The truth is, in my clinical experience, I rarely see men doing the leaving. Men compartmentalize. They withdraw into work, hobbies, fantasy, or addiction. They cheat or carry on secret lives and secret affairs. They might create situations that make it impossible for a marriage or relationship to continue. Men also suffer silently, shouldering massive burdens. The men I work with often have a high tolerance for disconnection. They might leave a dissatisfying relationship in spirit (sometimes they never fully arrive), but they are unlikely to leave in body. Certainly the description above does not fit all men, but the general patterns I see in my couples counselling practice recur too often to ignore.
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