Expectations result in realities.gender role expectations limit people from their potential and opportunities.1 In a recent ad campaign, run like a girl, #likeagirl, marketers with Always asked, “When did doing something like a girl become an insult?” The ad challenges the notion and reminds us that society’s influence on girls at puberty lowers self-esteem.
The truth is, in my clinical experience, I rarely see men doing the leaving. Men compartmentalize. They withdraw into work, hobbies, fantasy, or addiction. They cheat or carry on secret lives and secret affairs. They might create situations that make it impossible for a marriage or relationship to continue. Men also suffer silently, shouldering massive burdens. The men I work with often have a high tolerance for disconnection. They might leave a dissatisfying relationship in spirit (sometimes they never fully arrive), but they are unlikely to leave in body. Certainly the description above does not fit all men, but the general patterns I see in my couples counselling practice recur too often to ignore.
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